Life changes, we all get that. Sometimes it is expected, some times it isn’t. Even if change is expected, it may not be easy. If fact expecting it can make it harder. Today was my day of accepting a change that I knew would be happening, I knew for a very long time. Knowing did not make it easier for me, but I can’t really say it made it harder.
I have a tendency to make changes because I have to. I may not deal with them at that time or any time in the near future. I have been doing that for a while with this change. My life is converting from one end of the spectrum to the complete opposite. And I’m not dealing with it. I am doing other things to overshadow this conversion.
When will I deal with this change? I really may never face it, I may let it slide over time and gradually get used to it. I’ll make small changes to make that large one seem smaller. Today I am officially a civilian, no longer a member of the military. Tomorrow that will not change, but it changed today. I’ll adapt slowly to this, I’ll find a new daily life, a new routine. This slow conversion is my way of dealing with the major changes in life. I’m sure to the people around me it looks completely different. Ask my husband and he’d probably say I am moody and short-tempered. Ask friends and they’d say that I was stressed. It may look bad from the outside looking in, but on the inside I am making a life conversion. And I’m doing it my way no matter what life says about it.